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Your TOP is Another Man’s BOTTOM!





Men with bodies like Reggie’s and other gym rats be fooling you bottoms into thinking they’re all about the CAKES. Little did you know your TOP is somebody else’s bottom for a dime bag and some good cash.

Don’t believe me? Check your GRINDR, JACK’D, and TINDR accounts. They’re generous with the cash flow.

There’s nothing wrong with a man working with what he got to get what he wants. I don’t knock another man’s hustle. You BOTTOMS and these FAIRYTALE dreams need to stop.


I love how people are quick to say that A TOP can’t let his booty get demolished… Meanwhile, their MCM in somebody’s luxury hotel or run down motel right now getting they walls greased up for the right price.

You think they’re advertising the cakes on IG for nothing? STRAIGHT MEN? TOPS?

Somebody’s down for the prize for the right price.

I would never be foolish to think a man’s appearance can stop him from liking something sexually.

Yeah, some of these men are married, chasing after pussy and got side chicks and side boys. At the end of the day. Behind closed doors, they’re down for the cause. Some of them are down for WHATEVERRRR (in my cardi b voice.)

I was going to leave this topic alone until somebody had to slide into my DM trying to argue me down…

They thought I was going to back down from an argument.


I guess they thought that I was going to be bothered…

MY OPINION is MY OPINION, which is why this is MY BLOG, and I CHOOSE what I WANT to SPEAK ON, I have that right, I pay THAT bill, so it’s my shit.

If you feel the need to come back in my DM’s bring those pics you got leaked on TUMBLR. I heard you insta famous now for those arch booty shots. Too bad, your walls still got some residue in those pics. I can post whatever I choose and see fit to publish on, I have that right.

Now you worry about those untreated marks and spots on yo booty and stop trying to come for my blog boo.

Like, I’m not messy, I’m addressing a particular individual that wanted the spotlight.




I love how in 2017 we can express our interests and sexuality. These labels are nothing more than a yesterday’s news to the community. These men shouldn’t have to play up a role to be validated entirely as TOPS or MASCULINE MEN. Some of these men can very well be the next man’s bottom while serving trade realness. Why can’t we have more versatile men than strict tops? Why when a man reveals that he likes the eggplant then he’s not “MAN ENOUGH” anymore?

Judgment in this community is so venomous and messy, but as I stated in the other post, it’s all an illusion. It’s all for SHOW! These men in the gyms are the most significant bottoms around. The guys with the best bodies and the hood appeal are the main ones moaning like a real one!


They want big dacks in their booty.

So please, this whole TOPS and STRICT MASC TOPS needs to stop. I haven’t met one in years. I mean the legitimate STRICT TOPS because all the other ones been traded in their TOP cards. They got their cherry popped a long time ago.

You just stuck up on these images, videos, and illusions. That’s where they had me. Sucked, plucked and plumped in my dm’s boo. You thought I wasn’t going to entertain you. I told you this would be a post but thank you for the material.

So let’s not be ignorant and JUDGEMENTAL. Respect my views and opinions, and I’ll respect yours as well, which most people do as mature adults. Challenging me to speak my mind again, was not a problem for me. This is just another post and material for me. THANKS, ASHY CAKES.

Shout out to all my TRADE REALNESS boys that be full out BOTTOMS! You don’t have to change yourself for these shitty wet asses and flat-baked bottoms. Do what makes YOU HAPPY, and never allow Anybody to have control over your lives. BE HAPPYDO WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY! MASC, FEM, BOTTOM, STRICT TOP OR IN BETWEEN!



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Hello, my name is Anthony! I am 27-years-old. I was born and raised in New Jersey [Joissyyy whattup] I like to consider myself an author at heart with a blogger mindset. I write what's on my mind, and I speak my mind. I'm sensitive about my shit!

Anthony Unapologetic

Being Black And Gay Later In Life | How Do You Plan To Live Your Life As A Elder In The Gay Community?




We live in the moment, and most of us don’t think about life 20-30 years from now.

At least, in my opinion, I didn’t start planning my future until I was around twenty-five. Future goals, career moves, life plans, etc. Certain things that most of our peers don’t seem focused on doing today. Someday we will be the elders in the gay community. The sad part of having such a blessing is the fact that we’re going to sit and watch history repeat itself. The partying, the sex, the drinking, the SHADE.
Who’s going to lead the next generation in the right direction? Who cares if we’re all focused on the partying, the sex, the drama right? Who cares about the next generation of young men becoming HIV positive before their 21st birthday? It’s not your problem, so it’s none of your concern, right? WRONG! Because that same young man will someday look up to you for the support that many of us did not receive. YOU have to provide the answers! We have to become leaders and not depend on the next generation to lead us. 

The generation before us saw how AIDS wiped out their peers. They witnessed an epidemic that damn near destroyed the entire community! 

They watched how people they’ve loved, hated, envied, fought, fucked fade away. We are blessed to be able to be here today. The fact that this generation did not deal with AIDS-like our elders is truly a blessing. We didn’t go through all that tragedy most of us weren’t even walking when AIDS corrupted the gay community. 
Despite the fact that we’re still fighting HIV but we didn’t experience the AIDS epidemic which wiped out so many people. Thankfully the community now has the medication and all the resources to protect our generation and the generations to come. A lot of the elders did not make it or were able to get any life-saving medication at that time. 
They didn’t know AIDS would come and destroy half of the community. A lot of those elders are still battling HIV, but they’re still here and blessed.

In my honest opinion, I will say that majority of gay men are just roaming through life and not prepared for their future. 

I have spoken to a lot of older gay men of color. Every single one of them told me they were not prepared for their 40’s and 50’s. With AIDS and HIV most of them didn’t even think it was possible to reach that age. These men witnessed so many lives destroyed and taken from AIDS that they didn’t prepare to make it to such a mature age. You don’t want to become an elder, and then it finally dawns on you. You finally realize how much time has gone by that you can’t get back.

For some people, they floated through life blinded. No careers, no goals, no direction in life.

You have to be conscious of the reality. Stop living for right now and start preparing for your future. I can’t preach this enough because this is a serious topic.
Stop letting time pass you by because time stops for nobody. I’m not shaming anybody nor am I trying to be cold-hearted with this article. I know plenty of gay men right now who are not taking advantage of their youth whatsoever. The only important thing to them is drugs, liquor, dick, ass, partying and fighting. These men do this from sun up to sun down. Day in and day out! The same nonproductive shit unless it’s self-satisfying. They not out speaking to the younger gay men or bring awareness to others. It’s all about them and their self-righteous asses. 
Yeah, it’s okay to have fun and go out to the clubs but don’t live in the damn clubs. Because guess what? 20 years from now you going to be that old man in the gay clubs with the young boys. While all of your peers have succeeded (or failed) in life and has moved onto bigger things. You don’t want to be that individual stuck in a club to hook up with young boys to have a place to sleep. It’s not cute! It’s not okay. I’ve witnessed men in their 50’s turn to young men for a place to sleep. That’s the reality in the community that nobody speaks about or notices. Some of us are aware of the reality and status of our community. 
People are more focused on social media and being “gay socialites” with their 2k followers. What are you doing with your platform to advance the community or even yourself? What message are you giving to the community with your “followers”? Are you promoting positive images for the community? Are you trying to support those in the community or look down at them? You know what, I’ll make it even better. You rather be focused on the likes and all of the attraction you get from being on your platform. You want the attention but you not willing to put that attention and focus on the community. 
I blog to inspire! I’ve gotten messages from all gay men of color from all walks of life. That shit keeps me going with the blog. I do this for the love of the community! We have a lot of self-centered people who could care less. The moment it involves them they want to protest and rally up. You would never see them write a blog post to their fellow brotherhood for shit unless it involves sucking a dick or getting they ass ate. That’s the issue. Topics like this won’t be popular on the blog. 
ENOUGH OF MY RANTING! I’m just passionate about my shit and the message and all the positivity I receive from you guys DAILY! When a person suffering from HIV and been suicidal tells you that you kept them alive!!! There’s nothing greater there’s nothing more critical for me than to blog and share my love and tough love. That shit means ten times more than anything on social media. Fuck all the other shit. When you INSPIRE people with your platform FOR GOOD! *wipes tears* I have a voice because I care and I understand the struggle. I hate when people have more prominent platforms and rather be messy than to use it for bettering the community. Enough with that continue reading.  
Sex should not be your retirement plan. Trying to fuck everything moving seven days a week is nonproductive. Get a career going, find a hobby that can lead you to success. Hoping from one dick to another dick with a wet ass will not prepare you for your future. That will not help you reach your full potential.

I remember this one gentleman in his late 40’s telling me to “stay focus, stay grounded and never lose sight of your purpose.” 

He told me to stay away from all the bullshit that would not advance me to the next level. His words remained with me even to this day. He didn’t prepare for life before life tapped him on his shoulder. He was always in the gay clubs, in somebody’s bed and snorting coke and smoking every single day. He said before he knew it, 20 years had gone by, and he was not prepared for his 40’s. This man struggled with drug addiction, HIV, homelessness. He was locked up left to right for all common charges within the gay community. He escorted himself for crack cocaine. His story was a real motion picture! This man witnessed all his friends perish to HIV and AIDS. He didn’t have time to plan for his future because he was living the gay life. Now he has NOTHING to his name! He can’t even find employment due to his records. This man told me NOT to EVER be like him! That conversation changed my life, and I will forever be thankful for meeting that gentleman. 
We don’t have enough people warning us! We live in a world where survival is all about oneself. I believe survival is about you, me, them and others. If we can’t love and support each other then who will? You have to get it together! Don’t wait until you have NOTHING! Get your shit in order now so you can have something. Times will only get HARDER from here on out! MARK MY WORD ON THAT! We have to have our shit in order so we won’t be out of order and lost in a daze. Don’t be those before us who have nothing to show for themselves. Don’t be an elder with anything to show besides life lessons. Please don’t let life make an example out of you!
I’m not trying to make a cryptic article and make you guys uncomfortable. I want to write shit to get us all thinking. There are many successful black gay men, but if you were to try to find them, you probably have a hard time. You won’t see them in anybody’s gay club, on hook up apps, in social media beef. Those men are successful because they’re focused. They prepared, and now they’re able to live life the correct way. They are GOOD! I want us all to be GOOD, but some folks will not take heed of this shit. 
A lot of those men have money on money, property on property, etc. They are beyond RICH; they not in somebody’s gay club posted against the walls. These men went to college, created careers and so forth. Even if you didn’t go to college, you could STILL become something! You can still create a life beyond the typical gay lifestyle. Those individuals inspire me to reach my most significant potential. I plan on harvesting so I can build on and have more than enough! 

I refuse to be in my 50s and trying to figure out what I’ve wasted the last 30 years doing in my life. 

I don’t want to be that individual, and I don’t want you guys to be that person either.
We should use the elders in the community as examples. The ones who were able to make something of themselves and the ones who are struggling to find their way but haven’t given up. It doesn’t matter if they’ve messed up once or twice or even a few times. The goal is about you getting back up and finding your way. It’s essential not to wait until you are at rock bottom to do that. Don’t wait until you’re in your 40’s and 50’s to try and put the pieces of the puzzle together. 
We have to end this cycle in the community. I want to see the community strive now and not wait until it’s too late. We can’t allow life to twirl around us. You must have a plan for your future. You can’t continue to do the things that bring no value to your life. Yeah, it’s okay to have a good time but plan to have a good time, while you have something! Don’t have a good time and be mature in age with nothing to show for it. In your 40’s and 50’s in a gay club with bawdy but no house, no car, no success, no luck to show for it. That isn’t the business, but that’s somebody’s reality! 

A lot of older black gay men are struggling, and some are homeless and addicted to drugs. 

Don’t end up in that position. The generations before us should have prepared a better future for us. They should have done a lot more for the community. We have to change the direction from where we’ve come as a community to where we’re headed in the future. 
Nobody talks about this shit because nobody sees it. Nobody sees life for gay men after 40 as if time waits around for us. Don’t enter your golden years blinded and then finding out what life has waiting for you. You are in control of your destiny. Don’t allow destiny to be in control of you. 

Get active in preparing yourself for a better future. 

Don’t waste your time bullshitting and fucking everything moving. Be prepared for those golden years. Because you don’t want to be one of those older gay men of color that nobody cares for. I’ve seen and heard the stories from elders in our community. I have to speak about the facts and the reality. If you not prepared for it, you won’t know what hits you when you finally get there.

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Anthony Unapologetic

Selective Homophobia: The Act Of Picking And Choosing The Acceptable Gays!



Shoutout to the handsome ass rapper Mister Bank$ for making this facebook status. Because I have some shit I want to say about this topic tonight. I really want to speak from my soul! I know it’s going to resonate with somebody. So dig in! It’s FREE!
What annoys me is when straight people (mainly black straight-identifying men) say,

“Oh, you a cool gay bul. I don’t fuck with a lot of them. You, not a phagget, you cool with me.”

[litteraly something an old co-worker once told me.]
Shit boils my blood. I can’t stand people who want to separate or divide gays as if the less flamboyant “girly” ones are cool to be around. Some people with homophobic tendencies will make small remarks about certain gays.
It’s okay to be around if you don’t threaten their manhood or make it questionable for them to be around you. So the less “flaming” you appear to be, the cooler they are around you. I don’t understand why people feel this way.
In this case, let’s say you have a relative and they okay with you being gay. You can’t bring your “gay ass friends” around or they don’t want them [other gays] in the mix. You okay because you’re “family” or you’re “masculine” and you don’t act “like a sissy.”

I don’t care if we’re related through marriage or blood. You going to give my fellow brothers the same respect that you give me.

It’s not about who’s more masculine or feminine. Because the moment I do something that pisses you off. You going to quickly remind me that I’m gay, I’m this and I’m that. You not going to separate the two or be more gay-friendly at that point. You going to call me all types of derogatory names.

If you don’t fuck with one gay or those gays, then you mind as well not fuck with me.

The same way you talk about them, you going to talk the same shit about me behind my back. People will show you their true colors when you piss them off. So don’t feel comfortable because you finally got a seat at the heterosexual table with the straight buls.
When the shit comes back to you and you see the real them. You going to realize they didn’t see you any different than those gays they don’t want to be around.

If you’re homophobic you’re just a homophobe.

There’s no such thing as you being cool with me because I’m not a messy gay or I don’t act like the gays over there. That shit is crazy to me. If you don’t respect them, then you don’t respect me.
It’s facts! It’s not even about who’s more masculine than the other. I do believe there are a lot of selective homophobes. It’s no different from selective racists. “I’m cool with you because you talk proper, act this way and don’t act ghetto.” You know how some lovely caucasian people act and what they give. “Oh Tommy, you speak so well for a black man.” SMH!
I am not here for the bullshit. If I take dack up the ass and if they take dack up the ass too then we in the same boat. You can’t separate us even if you claim you cool with me. I can’t be comfortable around you based on the fact that you’re ignorant as hell.

I’ve been around countless of selective ass homophobic people.

All that “you cool in my book because of XYZ” ain’t cutting it. If you don’t respect other gay people then you don’t respect me. Because I’m not going to allow you to pin me against them vice versa. Most of the time, these messy ass people just want to see some drama escalate. I’ve had this happen to me first hand. They weren’t slick with it trying to get me to throw shade so they can go back and pull the same stunt with them.
If you know somebody that can’t respect other gay people then don’t waste your time with them. It doesn’t matter if they are a relative or a childhood friend. If a person shows you their true colors then ding ding. If they don’t fuck with the gays over there then they honestly don’t want to fuck with you either. They just “tolerate” you, but for me, that’s not enough. It’s all or nothing! You either down with us all or you not.

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Anthony Unapologetic

Gay Relationship Position | Are You The Man Or The Woman? [WTF!]




I usually avoid topics like this on my blog. This was something I couldn’t ignore.

A blank profile (yeah again another dl piece in my DM’s.) Decided to hit me up. I usually avoid these accounts, but I said fuck it. So I responded.

He introduced himself (something most guys don’t even know how to do in 2018!) He told me a few things about himself. I asked for an image (I hate talking to ghost accounts), and he refused. So I was kind of over it, but then he asked me this damn question.

“So are you the man or the woman?”

I’ll let him slide because he explained that he was REALLY DL! He didn’t know shit about gay relationships or gay culture at all. All he knew was that he was a top. So by him not knowing anything, I thought I would inform him. I didn’t want to be ignorant and read and throw shade. I took my time out to educate him about the community.

Yes, some gay men follow the heteronormative but I don’t. I respect those who like to play up specific roles and positions. That’s your relationship you define it as you see fit. For my type of relationship I’m not a woman nor do I desire to be one. I am a man, and I don’t like being referenced as a “woman” or the “submissive one.”

If you like for your top to be the man in the relationship and you his main lady then cool that shit works for you, I don’t want to be labeled as a female in my relationship(s). There will be some days I want to be the aggressive or dominant partner in the relationship. I would only assume that the “man” “top” “dominant figure” in the relationship would not want that at all. So for me, I would feel forced into a role and in a box. I don’t like closed confined spaces. I like being completely liberated and having the freedom of having free will. I don’t want somebody telling me how I should act.

Some people like that role play and it’s sexy to see two men being able to carry out a particular role.

If that makes you happy fulfill it, I noticed “straight identifying” men or the real down low men make these assumptions about gay men in relationships. They assume that certain men who appear to be “feminine” are the women or portray themselves as such. That’s not my case at all. I’m very much masculine and feminine. I don’t feel like I would define myself as a female in my relationship.

I’m sure many of you have dealt with cousins asking this question or random straight men. People make these assumptions based off of what they assume makes sense, which brings out the heteronormative mindset. It’s programmed in people’s minds of having a man and a woman in a relationship, while a lot of people understand that most gay men do not define themselves as women in a relationship. Some people do, and others ignorantly say things like this in a homophobic cruel ass way.

For him, he seemed legit confused. I wasn’t going to be rude to him. I like to educate people on what I know, and he intrigued to understand.

Every person in the gay community may feel differently about this topic. Some people may feel like positions and roles are standard and should be one or the other. Other gay men may not want somebody to reference them as female not even in a gay relationship.

I think if we all respect each other then everything is fine with me. I didn’t see anything wrong with the question it was innocent.

I helped him understand a little bit about a culture that he never been around or involved with.

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