(Official music video)
Even though this is a social experiment/prank, the message still speaks volumes. Homophobia is still very much active within the black community. But what this video also shows is that you can’t judge a book by its cover. The reason why I say that is despite the few homophobic guys, there were also men who stood in support.
They didn’t see “Boss Man” as anything other than what he presented himself as which was an artist. They may not have been gay themselves, but they didn’t allow who he was in any way to stop them from backing him up. That took courage, and SECURITY within themselves as heterosexual men.
But the guys who left out of there, not trying to see that “gay shit” were the ones who gave off DL vibes. You know, the down low man ain’t going to want to be PUBLICALLY associated with homosexuality. Even if it was as simple as a damn kiss, they were acting like this man was getting his back blown out.
I appreciated this video even more, after watching it again and now sharing it on the blog. This isn’t some new video, and I shared it a year ago, back when I had my last blog up. This video was one of the top viewed videos on my blog, reaching over 120k views! The video has over 1 million views currently and counting. So I would like to take credit for being a contributor in making that happen. (LOL)
But this isn’t about me; this is about the MESSAGES in the video. As mentioned above, you can’t assume people will hate you, judge you, reject you for being gay. That goes for strangers in society, fellow peers at school and work, or even relatives. You don’t know how a person may act when you reveal yourself as an openly gay man.
But after watching this video, and seeing these men who were not apart of this production, stayed in support. That is what I like to take away from watching this video — is the fact that support doesn’t have to be from those who we expect the most. It can be from people, who we would assume would bash and hate us.
These were random men on the street that they invited to do this video. These men didn’t know shit about the actor. But to see those men support, and didn’t care about his sexuality, shows me that there’s still a little bit of hope.
After you watch that video, make sure you check out another social experiment video, I found online. This one has a little more serious tone to it.
I appreciate you guys for supporting the blog; please continue to support and come back to read more content. I got so much more to offer, and share! I love speaking my mind and sharing my views with you guys. The mission is to hope that you guys can relate to me. From the overwhelming support, I think I’m doing good.
If you like to leave a comment about the video and your opinion on my mini-speech, then go ahead. If you choose not to comment directly on the post (lol), you can comment on Facebook, or via a Twitter response or DM.
Bullying Led Him From Being Feminine To Masculine: The Importance Of Just Being Yourself As A Gay Man Of Color!
Homophobia and gay bashing have caused people to consider ending their lives. The fact that acceptance is harder to receive from society still in 2018 is heartbreaking. Nobody should be judged and ridiculed for just being themselves.
In a time of facing hate and judgment, you can’t even turn to your own community, and to be honest about it, their opinion and hatred towards you are way harsher than most homophobes, we encounter.
So who do you turn to in a time of feeling these painful moments, and having deep thoughts of just giving in to be accepted, or left alone? Who can you rely on? Who has your back?
Nobody deserves to strip themselves down and rebuild themselves to fit in or be accepted by somebody else’s standards. You should live how you choose and be whoever you want to be in your life.
We shouldn’t allow people’s ignorance to determine who we are and what we are supposed to represent as gay men of color.
Last night I got a message on Twitter, and it made me very fucking emotional. A supporter of JBA wrote me explaining his situation with being bullied into masculinity. The fact that he was completely stripped and mistreated to the point of losing his will to fight made me feel his pain even more.
He gave in because he didn’t have anybody to embrace him, during his hardest battle yet. This man was once a boisterous, bold, blunt, open minded person, who lived out loud and in color. He described himself as confident in his skin, and even in his femininity. He wore light makeup, dressed colorful, and in whatever he liked to wear, he wore it proudly. He was living in his truth, and a group of cowardly men saw his light shining and wanted to dim it.
He worked in a warehouse, and I know you’re reading this thinking, “well it’s just a job.” Yes, but imagine just living life as you are and for 10 hours straight you’re being harassed, bullied, taunted, mocked, ridiculed, and of all things judged. Why? All because you were living and walking in your truth.
We live in a world where fear can take down the strongest man alive.
He may have been confident, but after being broken down, day by day, you start to retreat and strip down that confidence, layer by layer, until you’re completely nude and vulnerable.
It’s like with animal abuse; someone beats a dog so many times, the poor dog won’t even bark the same again. Abuse doesn’t always have to be physical. With the mentality of a homophobic individual, you can’t be spared. These type of people are evil, and they don’t care. They have no feelings not even for fellowman.
This man was mentally abused to the point that he stopped being boisterous. He wasn’t carrying himself with confidence or walked with his head up high. This man changed who he was, so that he wouldn’t be bullied, insulted, shamed, and judged, anymore.
He wanted to stop the noise, to put an end to the feeling of not being safe. Nobody deserves that treatment! They treated him like he was garbage, and as if his life had no value.
This man had a broken spirit. When your spirit is broken, it’s a done deal. So he stopped wearing the colorful clothes, he found himself isolated within himself just to get through the shift. He took on a hyper-masculine appearance to no longer stand out as the feminine, black, loud, colorful gay man.
He thought if he fits in and not appear feminine then the hate would stop. It did, and that’s what they wanted to see. The laughing stopped, the pointing and whispering ended. He found a slight peace of mind, but he lost his voice, he lost his identity.
He became what those people wanted him to be, and he ultimately killed himself spiritually. He was dead inside and broken, and he finished the job by giving them the power that they had longed for. He was defeated.
After that, he’s went through his depression, and he expressed this period in his life, as being one of the hardest battles. He’s never been bullied, or gay bashed before, and it woke him up to somebody else’s reality.
He didn’t think it would happen to him because it hasn’t been his experience. But now he’s in somebody else’s shoes, and he feels that type of pain.
The depression was so severe that he didn’t want to get out of bed. Days went by, and he started to call out from work. He didn’t want to hang out with his friends. He became utterly silent, and his world was silenced because of his first real experience with gay bashing. He was getting calls from his job, informing him that he was on the verge of being jobless.
So he went back, but he still didn’t go back being his true authentic self. His friends at the job were concerned, but he isolated himself from them so he wouldn’t be a target anymore. He didn’t speak to anybody and kept to himself. He expressed overhearing some remarks, but he was so numb that it didn’t even phase him, and not in a good way. It just made him more closed off.
It wasn’t until one day he woke up and just like a snap of the fingers; he wanted to break those chains.
He didn’t want to feel numb and silent anymore. He couldn’t do it, and he finally found his inner peace, which led to him finding his inner voice again. He got a new job, and he didn’t show up living a lie, he came in living in his truth.
The colorful clothes and makeup came back and was applied again to his face. The big voice and heartfelt laughter filled his spirit once again. This time he was bolder than ever before. That dark cloud had vanished, and he was finally able to see the sunlight. It wasn’t easy, and it was frightening due to his experience. But he made it back to the place, he had known so well.
He maintained a socially acceptable level of masculinity just out of fear of being a victim of hate again. But he didn’t allow that to keep him from being vibrant. This time he was going to remain true to himself.
He learned that trying to be masculine like those men who bullied him, didn’t fill any void. Being masculine caged him in, and made him submit to a false identity. If he had kept living that way, he would have ended up becoming self-destructive.
Everybody doesn’t have the strength to live and carry on a lie. It starts to eat at them mentally, and spiritually. If you not spiritual just know, I’m speaking about from within. These fake gay hyper-masculine men are suffering inside. I’m not talking about legitimate masculine gay men. I’m speaking about the ones who suppress their feminity. There’s a reason why a lot of closeted men sadly commit suicide. It’s hard to live a lie when you know; you’re not happy living it.
Some people can live a lie, and be completely numb to the truth. But the majority of us can’t live that way. It’s exhausting, and it’s draining to keep up a facade to fit into society. At some point, you will break, and hopefully its those chains of fear.
There’s a lot of black gay men, who have stripped themselves down of their true identity to create a false character to be accepted. I can’t blame them, nor judge them because I’m not walking in their shoes. I’m not enduring their pain, and I can’t save them from those homophobe vultures, who may lash out at them.
But I pray that those people come out of those chains and just free themselves. Find your inner happiness because living in fear, and living a lie, won’t do it. You won’t be able to live for others and expect to keep a valuable piece of yourself at the same time. If something has to be given it’s going to be your spirit or mind. There’s a lot of broken-spirited people putting on masks and facades to be accepted by people, who still won’t accept them.
There’s nothing wrong with being a feminine black gay man. You shouldn’t be ashamed of who you are and what you internally represent. That’s your inner peace that you’re throwing away by running from your truth. Don’t fall for the hyper-masculinity in hopes of being embraced. Guess what? It’s only a matter of time before your tea is spilled, and your truth is all over you. They will see through you at some point, so don’t be fake for a seat at the table.
Dear Future Husband
I wanted to write an open letter to my future husband! (Cough cough) Don’t judge me, but I believe that writing things into existence works. 😈 😝 I want you guys also to do this, and write an open letter to your future husband as well.
I believe in manifesting what I want from my imagination to my front door! So it’s possible that I may, or even one of you might meet a potential husband from writing him into your own reality. 😍😘👨❤️💋👨👪❤💯
So check out my dear future husband letter, and I hope you guys consider writing a letter, even if you use mines as an inspiration for your own.
Dear Future Husband,
I know you’re probably never read this on here, but you just may be reading this right now. But I’m writing this letter for you to know, how I feel. I hope you get this before the next fuck boy comes into my life and blocks you. But I know, no matter what. You’ll find your way to me.
I promise I’d never compare you to my past mistakes, nor would I hold you to your own. Nobodies perfect, and we’ve all fucked up a few times, and may even have broken a few hearts. But one thing I can promise is I’ll protect yours and shield it from all the painful experiences you’ve faced, and any doubt you may have at times about our love.
I don’t want you to feel like you can’t love again because I too fear the unknown, and the fear of losing love again may still haunt the both of us. But when I’m with you, I want you to know that every moment will be cherished. I want to hear your heartbeat. I want to stare into your eyes, and see the pain that I can heal, and also be healed from when you look into mines as well. Many times you’ve heard those simple I-love-you’s and had many heartbreaks. But when I say my forever, it’s very well a forever. I promise to stand by you through any storm, pain, or struggle. It’s us against the world, and when everything comes crashing down around us, I’ll be the one to lay my life on the line for us, as I know you will for me.
Our love will change a nation, but also create a foundation in which nobody can destroy or break if they wanted to. These scars you wear, I want to kiss them. I want you to be more than the ideal man for me, I want you to be my best friend. I want to tell you my deepest secrets, without fearing that you’d judge me for my past. I want you to open up to me in ways you’ve never imagined, opening up to any man. I want you to be able to complete my sentences, and I’m able to look at you and tell what it is that you’re feeling. I want to be able to know when you’re scared, so I can be the hero, that you’ve always longed for.
I want us to grow old together, watch our children grow into the respectful adults that I know, we would provide the best for as a team. Not just a duo, but a team that is solid, even during differences and disagreements. I want us to communicate through any problems that may arise in our relationship because neither one of us is perfect. I don’t want to go to bed without sorting out any differences, and arguments between, the two of us.
I want people to be able to see our aura, as we travel the world, and continue to grow deeper in love. Sex won’t be the focus for our love like the childish little men we’ve both wasted time entertaining in our past. When we make love, it will be with a purpose and will provide more than a lustful ending. Our love will be pure, and sincere. I want to be able to reach out my hand at night and feel yours reaching back. I want us to wake up, and the first thing we do is connect eyes. Our morning breath may not be the best, but the fact we’re given another day together would make it all worth it. I want every moment with you to be like it’s our last, so we will always cherish each other that much deeper.
That day we come to meet, face to face I want it to be based on our chemistry, and not how quick you want to fuck me, vice versa.
I want to be able to be vulnerable with you, and not fear you walking away when I get too attached. When you’re sick, I’ll be the one to heal you back to health. When you’re mad, I’ll be the one to make you laugh, and get rid of that frown. When you’re sad, I will be the one to put a smile on your face again. There will be no limits to our love, and distance won’t keep us apart.
You may meet me today, tomorrow, or even next week. But I want you to know that the moment we intertwine, it will be the moment our soul’s tie. We won’t always see eye to eye, but the makeup sex will be phenomenal. Despite your stubbornness and my silent treatments, we’ll be able to laugh about the small shit, instead of holding onto the dumb shit. I want us to bond closer, over our disagreements.
We can check guys out together, and scan the room for sexy men, but keep our hands on each other and on nobody else, even if one of us felt a natural lust for other people. No matter what life may throw at us, we both will be ready for the punches. We’ll build our empire together, and always have each other’s backs until our final days. Even after the end, I want you to remain with me for eternity, and beyond. You have no other choice! You mines, niggggggaaaaa! [LOL]
I love you, and I don’t even know you yet. But I know, when I have you, I won’t ever need for another again.
your future husband.
There Are Two Types Of Gay Men | Find Out Which One Are You?
I firmly believe that there are two types of gay men in this world. I’m going to explain to you what those types are, and why in a second. I think most of you already know these types and realized you fit one or the other. But we all fall under one of the two categories.
Now we all ain’t freaks, and we all don’t expect certain things immediately. Some guys like to take things slow, get to know a person first, and then maybe reveal their freaky side. While, other gay men are straight at hello by wanting to know how big it is, how deep you can take this dack, and how good them lips feel when putting in some work.
So I’m going to explain to you the two types of gay men that are roaming among us. You decide which one you are as well.
Gays #1 who rather say “hello” first, instead of requesting or sending nudes. They are interested in finding chemistry before making a sexual connection. These men are more so sapiosexual than sexual.
Gays #2 who rather you send nudes first, and save all that other shit for later. They are quick to sending you their nudes and mixing sex into the conversation quite sooner then you’d expect.
Now I understand, Gays #2 like to know what you’re working with before wasting any our time on getting to know you. Talking about your hobbies, dreams, and goals means nothing to them at first. Their minds are set on way more
IMPORTANT sexual things.
Gays #1 Would like to sit and maybe have an intimate conversation over the phone, maybe a dinner date. We prefer intimate connections before going in the sexual route.
While Gays #2 Just rather get to the point and cut all the bullshit. If we fucking, then let’s do it and not spend so much time on pointless conversations.
But I get it, and sex is the critical factor in life for this type of gay man. He doesn’t care about your favorite colors or food of choice. He wants to know whether or not if you can please and satisfy his sexual needs.
Now for most of you guys who are Gays #1 you want to explore the minds of other men, and then maybe entertain sex. But your immediate thoughts aren’t based on sexual needs of your own. You want to know who he is, what he’s about and how the two of you can mesh together. It’s not even about sexual connections at first. You are not looking at his pictures lusting and having the temptation of exploring his body. You don’t function that way, and you probably hate the thought of sex before you even know anything about the person.
Now for Gays #2 immediately you are aroused if this person attracts you. You want to see their bodies and imagine all the sexual shit you both could do together. The moment he rejects your request for sending you naked photos, you are quick to move on and hit up the next guy. You might have had a potential connection with him, but you lost all interest in that very moment of his rejection of nudes. You like to explore your sexual options before investing any time getting to know the person.
Sex first, feelings and mental connections later. You are not focused on his goals in life or his likes. Although you may actually be interested in him, your primary concern is based on whether or not his sex is good enough for your over-the-top sexual appetite. A sexual connection drives you, and that’s okay. Some guys are more sexual than others, but that doesn’t mean you don’t have a heart. You still have a beautiful spirit, and often you’re misjudged for your sexual nature. Once guys get over the over-sexualized side of you, then they can see the BIG potential. But you do frighten people before they can even think about investing time into you.
I think both types of gay men have special qualities. Some advantages and disadvantages as well. Whether if you want to explore the body first, or if you’re solely relying on mental stimulation. We all have something to offer at some point. Gays #1 don’t judge Gays #2 for being sexual and wanting to see you in the nude. But also Gays #2 don’t lose interest so quick for Gays #1 for needing a mental connection, before exploring your bodies and having a sexual connection.
Want To Be Featured In Your Own Advice Article? Based On Your Own Experience? Wanna Share With Us?
Share your story with JBA! Everything from relationships, breakups, dating, crazy hook up experiences, and more. Get featured on one of my articles, as I tell your story, and give my advice. Are you unfamiliar with my advice articles? CLICK HERE to read a previously written advice column. Anonymous submissives are accepted! Names and locations will be changed to protect all parties involved.
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