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Anthony Unapologetic

Two Strikes Against Us: Challenges Of Being Black And Gay

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There are two things that I can not change about myself, and that is the fact that I am black and gay. How can somebody incriminate me based off of the fact that I was born this way? You were born this way! None of us had the choice to choose our race or sexual orientation, but yet we’re treated as criminals.

Two strikes! One strike because the black church and community want nothing to do with us. The second strike because society sees us by the color of our skin.

I want every gay man and woman of color to be comfortable their your skin. You are beautiful, and even the words faggot, punk, sissy, fag, dike, lesbo, carpet muncher, bulldagger, tranny, it, can not and will not dim your light.

It’s almost as if people expect for us to apologize for being black and gay. We have two strikes against us. Meanwhile fighting for acceptance from a society that can’t even embrace their own. Why do we have to apologize for being our authentic selves? Is it because they see something that they don’t possess within themselves?

The walk for the average black homosexual is challenging and can also be exhausting. But no matter how difficult the travel get for us. We will always come out on top.

I mentioned two strikes, well how about we go ahead and make it three.

BLACK, GAY, and PROUD!

They want to see you suppressed, hopeless and broken. The moment they see a black gay proud man, it’s almost terrifying for them. “How dare you be black, gay and then on top of that be proud?”

The argument of homosexuality being a choice is an ignorant one. Who in their right mind would choose to face hatred and ridicule every single day of their life? I would so call me crazy, and I’ll do it all again if given the opportunity.

I have a genuine question for the homophobes, “If the shoe was on the other foot would you be able to wear it?”

It’s easy to hate what you don’t understand and judge what you don’t know. You can’t speak on my life because you wouldn’t last a second in my shoes.

The fact that so many black gay men have suffered from homophobia and abandonment. Who would want to live a life of regret and confusion? In my opinion, a person who has been through the fire and came out unburnt. A person who been dragged through the mud but remained cleaned and bruiseless. You can’t fight a flame that will continue to burn even when you try to put it out. We are strong even with three strikes against us.

There was no choice for me for being a black gay man. If there were a possibility to change it, I would rather walk another thousand miles in my shoes. This hasn’t been an easy journey, but I made it. You made it, and we will continue to overcome our two strikes even if given a third one.

Those two strikes against us, haven’t broken our spirits. I think we are undefeated and even with the challenges, we always remain champions.

We deal with racism and homophobia, but still, nothing can break us. We all don’t share the same journey or experiences, and sometimes we throw bold shade. If anything, we all share that spirit of fight, and in numbers, we are powerful, and no amount of discrimination and hatred can touch us.

All we got is each other in this community. Most black gay men have face abandonment from the black family. You could glow rainbows and glitter in your aura, but due to your skin, you’re nothing more than a negro. You can’t go to the black church or black community because you’re a faggot and people in religion will push you away.

Two strikes against us but yet we continue marching and stomping the pavement. Your strikes are no more than stripes of courage and strength. Your strikes are stripes of honor and bravery. It takes a coward to strike a survivor.

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Hello, my name is Anthony! I am 27-years-old. I was born and raised in New Jersey [Joissyyy whattup] I like to consider myself an author at heart with a blogger mindset. I write what's on my mind, and I speak my mind. I'm sensitive about my shit!

Anthony Unapologetic

My Ex Propositioned Me To Join His “New” Relationship: Black Gay Open Relationships And Why I Refuse To Participate In One!

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I’m sorry, but I can’t do the whole open relationship situationship. That type of relationship may work for a lot of people, and a lot of people are happy with it. I could never see myself happy or even interested in that type of relationship. I wanted to make this post because I’m still kind of shocked and a little uncomfortable about the proposition by my ex.
 

My ex did, in fact, propositioned me to join his new relationship. This happened last week, and I’m still mind fucked about the whole situation.

 
I’m not into going back to exes unless the history meant something to me. There’s only one ex of mine that I would drop everything for and run back. He knows he who is, and he’s the only one that can get a refill, okay.
 
Last week an ex of mines reached out to me via KIK. I haven’t been on kik for a good minute, but I ended up getting his random ass message. I had blocked him on every social media handling that we were using to contact each other. Somehow he still had my kik, and I hadn’t blocked him, so he slid in my KIK messager.
 
I stumbled across the message a few hours after he sent it, and he went into detail about how his boyfriend knew of me and my blog, etc. LURKING ASSES, RIGHT? 
 
I’m not shocked that his boyfriend would know about me because I know what I brought to that relationship. Of course, he’s still going to be talking about me to his ex besides his ex coming across my blog. Anyway, the boyfriend is into the whole open relationship, so instead of my ex dealing with just anybody, he wanted me to join them.
 
I laughed it off at first because I’ve never been propositioned especially by an ex and his new man. That’s very much new and also strange to me. I’m not going to knock the idea because I mean why get a random, when you and your man can get some of this chocolate mocha goodness.
 
The issue (besides the fact that I still wouldn’t do it) is the fact that mixing the old with the new can be a major disaster. Very few people can go back to an ex-boyfriend while watching somebody else have them at the same time.
 
Now I understand how open relationships work at least the ones I’ve seen play out before my eyes. I can’t allow myself to be with my ex and allow his new man to be with him as well. I’m the jealous type, and my goal eventually would be just to take him back and get rid of the third party.
 
I’m kind of selfish, and I don’t like sharing anyway. When it comes to threesomes, I’ll only participate if I’m not involved with neither party. I can take my ass home, and the both of you remain happy in love. I don’t like threesomes in my relationships, so I avoid them as much as possible. Does that mean I won’t have a threesome with me and my future man and somebody else? NO, I’ll never say never, but the opportunity would be slim but possible.
 
For some people, this may be a dream come true. I think most gay men who like being with more than one person would love this type of proposition. My ex wasn’t faithful to me, which also plays a part in why I rejected his request. I doubt he’s even faithful to the man he’s with now, so could you imagine me, him, his man and the others on the side? I’m good on that, but I thanked him for his offer.
 
Sex for me complicates things enough so to have TWO men in my life would be problematic. I can’t see myself loving two people or separating my feelings for two people at the same time. Some shit just not meant to be and for me, that’s one of them. Plus I don’t have time for one catching feelings more than the other one which seems like drama waiting to happen. For me, it’s not going to happen and probably would have never happened with two strangers.
 
Well, that’s my little story for now and wanted to share it with you guys.

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Anthony Unapologetic

We’re Friends, But I Got My Eye On Your Man Too!

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I wanted to make this article short, brief and straight to the point. There’s a lot of shit that pisses me off when it comes to cheating ass men. I will say that there’s nothing that boils my blood more than having a friend that be trying to scoop with my man on the low.
 

I have a problem with fake ass friends. We’ve all encountered these individuals every once in a while, but nothing prepares you for their real agenda.

 
For example, you have a friend that’s single, and you trust this person enough to bring him around your man. That’s not the issue, but you notice him always getting a little too close to your man. Even men that got boyfriends still be doing the same shit.
 
Sometimes you guys have a few drinks together, and he may be too close and personal, while other times he’s straight up disrespectful. Yes, those are the type of friends I don’t fuck with at all. I hope you guys don’t fuck with them either. 
 
I understand there’s a lot of gay men that do the whole threesome thing with their friends. A lot of gay men will not only fuck your man but steal him under your supervision.
 
Now I get it you can’t steal somebody’s man. In most cases, your man wasn’t faithful from the jump. Okay, that’s fair enough, but the problem for me is when the disrespect is so blatant that it’s hard to ignore or at least play confused about it.
 

Once I catch you trying to press upon my man or vice versa, then we have a problem.

 
We can’t share the same man, and some gay men are into the whole free for all type of thing in their relationships. I’ve met several gay couples who are very open with their relationship. I can’t put myself in that predicament even if it benefited me in some way.
 
A friend of mines was dating this one guy, and they were together around maybe six months. The problem didn’t start until towards the end of their relationship when his boyfriend tried to get at me.
I’m not the type of friend that’s going to let my friend’s man hit, while he’s not around. I can’t see myself calling you my friend, and I’m fucking your man at the same time.
One thing, I’ve learned is that everybody doesn’t feel the way I do about friendship. So when this boy decided upon himself to make his move on me, I made it very much known to my friend.
 
What pissed me off was the fact that even after the relationship ended, he still tried to get at me. The minor situation before wasn’t enough for him to back off.
I remember one time catching him looking at my ass, and that rubbed me the wrong way. I stopped hanging out with my friend whenever his bf was around. I’m very loyal, and I don’t play that kind of games.
 
If you call me your friend, then there are boundaries in our friendship.
 

NO, I will not join you and your man in bed because he wants to experiment with me and the only way to do that is through you.

NO, I won’t sleep with you whenever you and my friend get into it.

NO, We can’t exchange numbers in case if you two don’t work out so you can get with me.

There are boundaries, and a lot of gay men (in or out of relationships) don’t know their place. People are so comfortable with doing wrong, that they don’t even respect themselves. People will do all types of shit not only behind your back but also right in your face.

 
You guys have to pay attention! Some of you got a Bae that is also BAE on the side to your one of your friends. You may not see it or believe it could happen but it’s happening right now.
 
You can’t invite anybody into your space and around your partners. Some people have good intentions while other people want what you got and will do anything to have it.
When it comes to losing a friend most of these gay men do not care. They call you SUS and shit, but they don’t care for you like that. PAY ATTENTION to the fake shit out here.
 

He isn’t your SUS, SUS! 

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Anthony Unapologetic

Dear Gay Men Of Color: What’s Keeping You Single?

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Everybody wants to be in a relationship until they find themselves in a “relationship.” All the drama and childish shit starts to happen, which ruins about 95% of black gay relationships in my opinion.

The lack of communication and commitment issues tend to be two of the significant issues in most black gay relationships. Everybody wants to be husband material, but they don’t want to put in the work to perform the job accordingly. Relationships are not easy at least not as easy as most relationships appear to be in the public eye.
 
Every gay man, I know personally has their reasons for being single. Some guys think commitment issues play a big part as I mentioned. I think when it comes down to it most guys just don’t care to be in a relationship. A lot of guys are fine with having FWB or just beneficial situationships.
 

My issue with black gay men and their need to be in a relationship stem from most of them not being ready for one.

You say you want to find love and all the good shit that comes with having a man. The moment shit gets hard you ready to give up and walk away. Gay men are quick to jump from relationship to relationship whenever things seem too hard or heavy to face. They can talk a good game, but half of them can’t take the smoke when shit gets heated.
 
I’m not saying couples who fight constantly, I’m speaking about the couples that can’t face their truths or even work out their problems together.
When I’m dating somebody and building a relationship, I want to be able to express how I feel. I shouldn’t feel as if I can’t speak my mind about certain issues in the relationship. That’s not a healthy relationship, and if somebody feels that it’s okay not to be able to voice your concerns, then that’s a problem. 
 

There’s a lot of work that goes into building and then maintaining a relationship.

If you can’t handle the highs nor the lows then maybe you shouldn’t be focusing on finding a partner at this time. A lot of gay men need to be single because they can’t handle the pressure of dealing with a partner. Their communication skills are lacking, and their insecurities speak volumes. The smallest problems always tend to become the deal breaker in the relationship. Nobody wants to fight over petty small shit constantly. 
 
I rather stay single than to be with somebody in an unhealthy relationship. I’ve had my share of men who were NOT meant to be with somebody at least at that time.
Everybody can confess to dating a person that you knew deep down inside that they shouldn’t be in any relationships until they fix their own issues. There’s a lot of gay men walking around with a BAE and carrying all the baggage and issues in their relationship. You know some of them as you read this article and no matter what you say or do they staying right there in that dysfunctional relationship. 
 
Being in a relationship is more than bragging on social media, flashing your man off, or focusing on sex as the primary purpose of the relationship.
 

There’s so much more to relationships than sex and kissing or even cuddling all day. There’s legwork and more work to make it work or even last.

I think when you single fellas go looking for love many of you should be questioning yourself these following questions first.
 
What can we both gain something from this relationship that will build our future together? 
 
Where are we headed in this relationship?
 
How do we overcome our struggles and even our differences?
 
Can he love me the way I want to be loved?
Am I willing to compromise for him as he’s willing to do the same for me? 
 
There’s a lot of questions that people should ask before getting into a relationship. I say this all the time, but a lot of gay men rush because they’re trying to fulfill a void. I understand how lonely shit can be for all of us, but we have to make sure we’re not finding the wrong people.
You don’t want to jump into a relationship with the wrong person just to say you got somebody.
A lot of gay men be in these relationships MISERABLE because they know that’s not the man for them. These men are more focused on the image of love and how they appear in public. My issue with that is the fact that if you know this person is no good for you then leave them. Why ruin yourself and your future for a person who doesn’t even care about their own?
 
If you’re single, don’t give up hope or lose faith in finding love. Allow that man to find you, or you may stumble across him. If he’s the one, then you will know it. Don’t force something to fulfill that void. It will not last, and that happiness will fade just as quick.

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