There’s not enough black gay queer bloggers and journalists out right now. Some are rare to find, and I’m so glad I’ve come across AngryBlackHoeMo’s blog because he’s REAL about his… I respect his opinion, views, and approach he makes on his blogs.
I appreciate THE FACT that he responded when I reached out to him. His writing is the truth, and I wouldn’t lie if I didn’t support his blog. So make sure you check out his blog and support him as well!
AngryBlackHoeMo just did a blog post speaking about strict full tops being canceled in 2018. He gave his painful honest opinion, which I’m sure has rubbed some of these tops the wrong way as I have with my posts. As you know, I also speak directly on labels and sexual positions sharing some very direct key facts in my opinion. AngryBlackHoeMo does that as well and he is BRUTALLY RAW! That’s what I love about him. So a particular section of the post made me want to vent out my views on it.
Assuming all bottoms are submissive
I’ve discussed this in previous work, but it bears repeating. Tops often assume that, by virtue of the fact that we get fucked (i.e. perform a “woman’s role”), that bottoms are inherently submissive. More times that I care to recall, I’ve had to pause a session because I needed to give queues to a dude to stop slapping me in the face, spitting on me, calling me a bitch/faggot (or, back when I was still entertaining WhiteGayze™, nigger), etc., when I never consented to any of that. I have a submissive side that I’ll go into occasionally…but that’s uncommon enough that there’s really no need to assume you’ll tap into that (told y’all about the puns).
Now, if you want guys who are submissive, that’s fine. But get consent beforehand. Stop assuming that, just because someone gets fucked, they’re just gonna just be down for whatever D/s vibe you’re on. For that matter, stop projecting cis-heteronormative shit onto us. Meaning, stop associating bottoming with women. And while we’re at it, stop associating women with submission. Enough of the patriarchal foolishness.
Also, reminder that dominant bottoms and submissive tops exist…and a whole range of shit in between.
NO LIES TOLD!
ACCURACY IS ON POINT.
I totally agree with him, because I do believe that not all bottoms are submissive. Just like I don’t believe, and I have stated before that not all tops are dominant at all. I believe these roles are defined by our own standards and views. There is no right or wrong way to being a top, bottom, versatile.
Assuming that all bottoms like to have their asses prefer as pussy is insulting to some people. Every bottom does not want to be called BITCH or out of their name during intercourse.
Some bottoms are not submissive in the bedroom or even in these streets. You have all sorts of men who prefer to take on the bottom role in their sexual lives. Some people may play up a role but are totally against certain aspects of what that role may entitle to others. I guess it’s safe to say, that some dominant bottoms may want to treat their tops like bitches and hoes. When I refer to dominant bottoms, I’m speaking about masculine men, who do not consider themselves effeminate in any way.
I think with the lack of understanding from the black gay community on these issues, prevents people from speaking out on this topic. Some men HATE anything that involves femininity including their sexuality, which is why I think the dominant bottom role works for some men only. While, others do like to be controlled, sexually and in general. I don’t believe it’s a common act for the majority of men. Because I personally have met many “self-proclaimed” masculine bottoms, who do not engage in femininity whatsoever. As they like to put it, they carry themselves like men, who just happens to sleep with other men. But they don’t understand that ROLES are usually played up a particular type of way. So when they do encounter a DOMINANT TOP who treats them in a submissive manner, they become offended.
It’s all about preference and speaking your mind in regards to what you prefer to encounter in the bedroom. People need to communicate about this more often, so we can bring awareness to the fact that being a bottom does not automatically places you in a box of submission. Which is why — I am PRO anti-LABELS because these labels are set in stone for many people. They breathe, sleep, eat, fuck, based on these damn labels.
Labels are holding us back and keeping us hostage. We have to stop labeling people based on sexuality. Some people simply don’t even like to be label gay because all of the shit that comes with it. A friend of mines don’t even call himself gay, he considers himself as a man who just happens to like other men. You wouldn’t hear him say he’s gay and he far from the depicted type of gay man. So we have to respect each other’s wishes, when it comes to sexuality and labels. Not every bottom wants to be labeled as soft, submissive, feminine, weak, bitch, pussy, sis, gurl, etc.
So that’s my two cents on it, and I just wanted to share AngryBlackHoeMo’s views. Support his blog and definitely reach out to him on social media he’s very much active.