Dealing with relationships is hard, and sometimes walking away is the best decision. I’m collaborating with a good friend John Dabla, Host of ‘Keeping It Real with John’ Radio Talk Show & Entertainment Journalist. He’s going to be joining the site’s category of Sip That Tea.
He will be bringing new advice columns to the site, and I’ll be adding my 2 cents in as well. I am very excited to bring John along, and I hope you guys enjoy these posts for Sip That Tea. Let’s get into the first AC with a young man dealing with relationship problems. I hope you guys can read this and take something from it. If you’re dealing with a bad situation, get out. Don’t stay in a situation where you’re needs are not met, or you’re not happy, then leave for your own happiness.
I’m a 24-year-old man who has been in a relationship for nearly three years. I used to feel like my boyfriend was my best friend — someone that I could depend on. However, things have been changing. He doesn’t call, text, or stop by anymore. He doesn’t make any time for me and always talking about work. Although he works long hours I still need to feel like I am a priority in his life. I have tried everything. I tried reaching out to him multiple times and just don’t understand. I’m a great boyfriend and I always try to make him happy. I even workout twice a day just to clear my mind and relieve some stress but its not working. I’m always angry and upset. I’m missing out so many different fun activities. However, things are just not working. I’m a hard worker so I know what it feels like to not have time… but I always made time for him. Now I’m thinking about taking time for myself and going back to school. I’m a simple guy who loves walks in the park, the beach, movies, dinner, bar & club hopping, but most of all I like the comfort of my man. What am I doing wrong? I thought the purpose of a relationship is about building and growing. Instead, it seems like I’m the only one growing. HELP!
The thing about being in such a serious relationship at such a young age is that you’re at a point where you both are figuring out who you are and what you want out of life.
While it would be ideal for you to grow together, there’s a chance that while growing as individuals, you two will grow apart and that’s what I believe is happening.
The most unfortunate part about growing apart is that there’s really nothing you can do about it. If you’ve let him know how you feel and have made whatever personal adjustments you feel that you need to make and he’s still not giving you what you need, then maybe it’s best you move on. You don’t need a boyfriend to do any of the fun activities you said you’re missing out on. All you need is a good group of friends and a plan!
If you’re still considering taking time for yourself, I don’t think that’s a bad idea. A healthy relationship shouldn’t make you angry or upset. At the end of the day, if someone really wants to make time for you, they will.
Stay blessed my friend! – John (Instagram & Twitter: @RealJohnDabla)
Relationships are based on a line of communication. Therefore, if there is no communication, there is no true foundation within the relationship. It’s just a title with no purpose or true substance. I think, once you’ve noticed the thrill was gone, it had truly faded with no direction or possible change — then it’s time to say goodbye. Walk away with your head up high, and know that somebody will appreciate you the next go round.
So many times we get involved in these relationships, and we lose sight of the true meaning of love. It’s not 50/25 — it’s 50/50 and if the other person can’t offer you the equal amount of love — let it go. You shouldn’t BEG him to see you or reach out to you. Yeah, he works, but nobody works all 24 hours around the clock. I believe he’s entertaining other guys possibly and just waiting for you to call it quits. Some guys don’t know how to break things off, so they do it with their actions. If you met him, and he was not like this before, then clearly something is off. He’s not going to tell you he wants out verbally. He’s doing it with his actions. But you have to be strong and believe in yourself. Don’t let this situation break you down. This is just another lesson in your history book, which only gets better with time.
I would say break things off now because you’re blocking your own blessings by staying with him. You could be with somebody or get to know a good man, but you’re so focused on this guy. Let this go; it doesn’t look like it’s heading anywhere from this point on and find somebody new. Now, if he wants to “change,” or show you that he has something else to offer, then hear him out. But more than likely he’s not going to change. This is not a random situation, and I feel like he planned it. He just not being man enough to break things off the proper way, so now he’s slowly backing out.
If there’s nothing left to say, then walk away as John said. It’s easy; two can play that game. Stop texting him, calling him, etc. and go your own way. If you never hear from him again then know that all of this was on purpose. If he happens to pop back up a week from now, tell him things need to go back to the way they use to be or the both of you need to end the relationship.
I hope we were able to give you the best advice possible on this situation. You guys can also leave your comment on this topic as well.