I’ve never been one to bite my tongue or hold back, how I truly felt about something. I honestly can say that CHEATING is a sport for some guys, and many of them fail at it. Because in previous relationships, I’ve caught the guys RED HANDED. Sometimes, I even did some investigating and discovered more shit. But I’m never the one who gets played. Call me a savage, but you won’t call me STUPID.
Cheaters know how to cheat, especially if they’re talented at smooth words, and all that good shit. A good cheater, can fuck you and have you believing your bussy shits gold. I swear cheating is a skill set! Not everybody knows how to CHEAT at least they don’t know how to cheat SMART.
But I’ve never been a cheater, and I HAVE NEVER CHEATED. I do not play with the universe! I believe in Karma, and she always gets her revenge. But sadly, I’ve been on the wrong side of the bed. I have been cheated on, and I think the majority of gay men can confess to this as well. It’s an ugly cycle which continues and will always happen. Gay men are MEN at the end of the day, and some of them can’t control their sexual urges. Now, will I sit here and lie, and say I was with somebody and didn’t see other men attractive? NO. I have seen many handsome guys while in a relationship. But that’s when being FAITHFUL comes into play. You can CHOOSE to lay up with somebody else, or you can be loyal to the one you LOVE.
Needless to say — cheating has always been a pet peeve of mines, but I’ve been cheated on more times than I could count. It hurts, but you learn to move on and heal from it. Nobody wants to be cheated on, and nobody wants to be caught RED HANDED cheating.
The question is… Why do men cheat? I can only speak for what I know, I have never been in a relationship outside of my race, so I can’t on other races of gay men. But black gay men I’ve had my share of troubles trying to love my own race of men. Now, I’m not alone because almost every other black gay man I’ve spoken too have been cheated on as well. It seems like a problem that just doesn’t go away.
But I will say hurt people, hurt people. The reason why I say that is because most gay men of color have been hurt. You can meet a guy, and he can tell you all of the wrongs that have been done to him. But he’ll never tell you, all the wrong he’ll end up doing to you! But most of them know that they can’t be faithful, but those are usually the ones who do the most. The guys who go the extra mile just to prove that he’s devoted. When being faithful doesn’t need any evidence or proof at all. Being faithful is an act that doesn’t show for itself, it just happens.
I haven’t met a gay man of color who haven’t cheated or been cheated on. I always respect the ones who be honest and say, yeah I’ve cheated before, and this is what I’ve learned from it. Some of these men are so messed up. They can’t even admit small white lies. You would think people can be honest about their lives, but you’d be surprised what most guys will hide from you.
When guys show you who they are — believe them!
I’ve talked to guys and had them tell me their whole life stories. Some things I can relate on and other things, I rather stay away from, period. But the best guy to come across is an honest one. Somebody who can admit that they’ve cheated, done somebody wrong and wish they could take it back. But there’s something about the guy who claims he’s only been cheated on and never done anything wrong.
Now if I said I didn’t do anything in those relationships, I’d be a damn lie. Yeah, I may have had an attitude problem, I may have pushed a few of them to that point of stepping out. But at the end of the day, it was still their decision to cheat. I always say, I rather leave a relationship before I go lay down with another soul. Because it’s not worth it at all, If you are not happy with me if I don’t make you happy anymore leave me. That doesn’t give you the right to cheat on me because we had a petty ass argument. So yes, I have done things or engaged in situations that lead to my partner being unfaithful. But when a person can’t even admit to doing wrong at all, it’s kind of bullshit. Nobody’s perfect, and if they say they are THEY NOT BEING HONEST.
If most guys been cheated on, more than likely, they going to repeat it in their next relationship — or avoid doing it. But nobody can deny that they’ve been hurt before, and we all can connect on that pain.
But to end this post with the main topic, I love when a cheater can accuse you of cheating. I mean the blame games, the selective arguments, the bullshit. Just things to put their guilt on you. I had one ex who used to cheat on me, and he would tell me I was the reason for it. He would start arguments with me and then go out and cheat. I was 21 at the time, and I kind of fell for his bullshit. But he played a smart game. He would cheat and not feel a thing about it. It wouldn’t even eat at his conscious because he would use his tactics to block out any ounce of guilt. This man was a gifted individual who had a way with words. He would turn it around on me and accuse me of cheating. He would go to the extreme and tell me he didn’t want me hanging out with other guys. He was so controlling that I feared to lose him. He had me wrapped around his fingers, while he played his games.
I was a damn fool back then, and I would never allow somebody to treat me that way again at 27. But he knew what he was doing, and he played that act to the T. But he was so good, he had me questioning my damn self. That’s the kind of level of manipulation he had over me. I knew he was cheating the whole time. I even visioned it in a dream. That’s how we ended up breaking up because after a certain point his guilt started to eat away at him. He couldn’t even look at me without crying, and it was that deep.
I know this post was kind of long, but I had to speak my mind and get this topic off my spirit. I know some of you guys got something to add to it. Leave a comment; it’s free to do! You don’t know what you might say that could help somebody else. I blog to inspire and help those who can understand the struggles, pain, and survival. I want you guys to connect to me and know that you’re not alone in many of these situations. Because it may not seem like it, but a lot of people feel alone with their pain. So reach out to me, lets chat and leave your thoughts in the comment section.
But if you are dealing with an unfaithful partner, you need to find your way. Whether if you want to stay or go, just make the right decision for yourself. If you’re not happy with somebody, don’t cheat on them. If you want out, then get out and do your thing. But don’t string anybody along, when you know you’re not going to be faithful to them.