I didn’t write this facebook post above, but it inspired me to write this article.
I love when I see other black gay men speak about love. We all want something, whether if it’s love or the touch of another person. But the goal is to be fulfilled, happy, satisfied. We all deserve to have what our hearts desire, even if it’s not meant for us at the moment.
My harsh opinion on dating is the fact sometimes it’s just not the right time, right person, right situation. Yeah, our hearts go after what we want, but sometimes what we want — ain’t good for us.
Then on top of that, you rush to find somebody to fulfill that void, and they end up making it worse. You meet the wrong person, and you get in the wrong type of relationship. The guy you were meant to meet ends up missing out finding you. I feel like we sometimes miss out on meeting our soulmates, due to us finding Mr wrong who derails us from the right one.
I believe Mr wrong comes in the package of Mr right. He’s the one who shows you the representative of your dreams. He presents everything you want and desire, and then he takes it all away. Now he presents his true self and his intentions, which wasn’t how he presented himself at first.
It’s very much a bait and switch tactic. It’s sad because nobody never sees it coming.
I believe when you find that right person you’ll know it. It will be more deeper feelings between the both of you. You will know this is the person for you, but I think that happens suddenly. You cant expect or see when you are going to meet the right guy. Yeah, we can meet somebody and think that they’re the one, but how many times have we done that?
I know I’m marriage material, but I’m not going to change who I am for marriage. I refuse to change who I am to find that perfect man. I won’t turn my flaws to overlook his own. I’m me, and if I’m not happy with myself, I know damn well he won’t be pleased with me either! But regardless, I know who I am.
A lot of people want to find love, and then they lose themselves in the relationship. They jump in without wi goal or purpose of building the relationship. I don’t want to be with somebody just to say I got somebody. The person I marry, I want them to be my best friend. I want them to embrace my flaws but also inspire me to become greater. It’s a team, its a duo and I don’t want to be the one putting in all the work or even less, etc.
Find the one and then talk marriage. Don’t talk marriage with every dick, tom, and harry. Every guy you meet will not last the test of time, so don’t focus on something if your heart isn’t all the way in it. Dating and getting to know somebody is great. But can we please stop viewing every “boyfriend” as husband material?
I’m going to end this post saying this — Just because we view ourselves as husband material, that doesn’t mean we actually are husband material. I know that’s a hard pill to swallow, but let’s be honest about it. Some of us talking about husband material but we haven’t gotten over the last relationship(s). We carrying baggage talking about I’m ready for a man to put a ring on it. Some of us are not ready for marriage anytime soon. Some of us need to work on ourselves first.
How about you try marrying yourself first. You know, doing all the things you expect a man to do for you — but doing it for yourself. Committing, respecting, honoring, loving ourselves first. Set the relationship goals for yourself, before you go seeking out for a bae. Because all you’re going to do is get into that new relationship, ruin it and end up alone again. It’s a cycle for many of these guys, and they still don’t get it. Look at yourself and figure out why your relationships don’t last long, maybe you will see the error of your ways.
I could go and on about his topic. But I’ll end it here and pick up in another post. I’m passionate about what I got to say, and I express myself with tons of emotions. I know y’all can feel it when y’all read my articles. But anyway, leave your comments on this topic. If you choose to comment on social media cool, lol that tends to happen anyway. Stay posted, and I got more coming.