There are some dating boundaries that we shouldn’t cross. Often we do unknowingly (I would say), But sometimes those boundaries are designed for a reason. We’re all grown, and I would hope everybody who’s reading my blog is mature enough to know right from wrong. Certain things are acceptable, while there are some that are not. I think outside of cheating, petty drama, bullshit, crossing boundaries is another reason for breakups.
When I see people crossing them, I automatically know that relationship isn’t going to work. Nobody’s relationship works if we can’t respect other people’s space and privacy. There are levels to this shit, and being a boyfriend does not give you the right to act as if you’re somebody’s daddy (or mommy in some instances.) But regardless, respect is provided, and you can’t get it if you don’t earn it first.
But you’re not going to force anybody to respect you. You’re not going to make him do anything he doesn’t want to do. It’s not going to work, and it’s going to crash and burn. You have to respect your partner’s privacy and their space. Their belongings, space, and their property are theirs, not yours. Learn how to respect the boundaries of your relationship.
I decided to write a list of 6 dating and relationship boundaries, which you shouldn’t cross. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been seeing them for years or less. You don’t have specific rights over people. You don’t own them, and they are not something in your possession.
A lot of gay men feel like their partners are their prized possessions, but they aren’t objects or materials. The same way you get them can be the same way, you lose them. It’s that simple, people say can bye, just as fast as they say hello! Don’t believe me? Cross your man’s boundaries one too many times, and watch him switch the script on that ass. Until then, read this list of 6 things that you shouldn’t do to get a head start 😉 (LOL)
Checking His Phone/Lurking His Social Media Accounts
The first thing a gay man is going to go after is his man’s phone. This is common, and this is damn near obvious for many reasons. But none of that makes it acceptable at all. You can’t feel as though you have that right to invade somebody’s privacy. Now if you’re paying that man’s phone bill, then you better not only get his phone but have the password to it as well.
But then again, is it worth it? Because at the end of the day you gave them the phone, so if they were doing shit — you’re enabling them. If you can’t trust him, then why allow him to keep the phone? Why keep picking fights to have an excuse to go through his phone?
Do you want to know the quickest way to end up without a man? Keep tampering with his phone and searching for shit. Nobody’s going to tolerate that shit unless they don’t care if you find something or not. But most men will grow tired of yo ass, and I’m pretty sure some of them have, which is why shit ended. Let’s be honest, and you did this shit before, so keep it trill. Don’t go through his belongings — his privacy belongs to him. If he’s unfaithful, not being loyal to you, then leave him. But if you have to question that shit, you don’t need to be with him anyway… Because either he’s not or hasn’t been faithful, or you got to work on some problems of your own with trust issues.
As far as social media, if you have to lurk on your man’s Facebook, Instagram, etc. Then you need to let that go. If you gotta fear people on the cyber web taking your man, then that’s not your man! That’s everybody’s man. A man that’s secured in his relationship has no worries or fears. If you are worrying, fearing, scared, then that’s not yours, that means he never belonged to you, to begin with.
Showing Up To His Job Unexpected
There’s nothing messier then showing up at his place of employment. You know damn well you’re going to get that boy fired. If he isn’t making any money, then how the hell you expect him to eat? The dack gotta be good, for you to fuck up his money, and he allows it. The dack gotta be damn good, to deal with crazy, which is yo ass. Please know that doing this is not cute, it’s not hood pretty at all. This is considered a disturbance and you fuck around, and them lovely Caucasians will call the police on yo ass. This isn’t the movies, and some fake ass reality show — this is real life. I know some guys who’ve done this ratchet ass shit. Don’t show up to his job over some bullshit. Keep yourself and your feelings intact. Crossing this boundary, going to end up sending yo ass to the county jail. BE SMART!
Calling His Friends and Mama After Petty Arguments
When shit goes left in your relationship, do not run to his friends and his mama. That is some CHILDISH SHIT. I’m sorry, but as a grown ass man, that’s not the business. Keep your relationship and relations with you and your partner in the comforts of your own home. Your man’s mama, his friends, even his unnteee don’t need to be in the mix.
Getting outside forces in your mess is crossing the line, that’s worse than a damn boundary. You done took your ass further down and towards the line and passed it. That’s not cool, don’t do that. Mama is not going to side with yo ass anyway, she probably going to tell him to “tell that boy to stop playing on her phone.”
Unwanted Visits / Give Him Some Space To Himself
Sometimes people want and need their personal space. Clinginess can drive many people crazy, especially men. People need their personal space, from time to time. Always on his back is a turn-off. If a person wants to be left alone, leave him-da-hell-alone. Do not invite yourself to his apartment unexpectedly. Now if you live together, let him have his alone time in the living room, you go in the damn bedroom. If his ass is in the kitchen, you keep your ass on the other side of the house. Give him space, give him some time to breathe in, and breathe out. Smoothing him, when he already needs some space — will not work out. You’re going to lose your relationship.
Texting Or Speaking To Their Ex(s)
Do not contact a guys ex without his permission. Even if they are cool with their ex, do not cross that line. Their ex will never be in your favor. They will never hide what you share with them. I don’t care if their ex is your best friend. They share a bond that nothing will replace, not even you. Sometimes I’ve seen some guys do this and I cringe every time. The dumbest decision you could make is contacting his ex-lover about relationship issues. That is the stupidest thing to do. Especially behind his back. I can promise you. Every time you do that, he will find out! That’s never okay, and it’s never cool. Just know, that his ex will scheme on getting him back.
Setting Up Threesomes Without His Permission
Sometimes we like to get freaky. I know this is a random part of the list, but I have to change it up. But yes, threesomes are cool if both parties want one. But setting up a threesome, without your man’s acknowledgment will not end well. I’ve seen this happen — don’t do it. Yeah, couples like to step out of the box sometimes. Hell — I like to do shit out of my comfort zone too. But there’s a boundary to the shit, and sometimes you can go too far left. While you may think, it’s a cute early birthday gift. He may view it as being a complete disrespectful decision on your part.
Dear Future Husband
I wanted to write an open letter to my future husband! (Cough cough) Don’t judge me, but I believe that writing things into existence works. 😈 😝 I want you guys also to do this, and write an open letter to your future husband as well.
I believe in manifesting what I want from my imagination to my front door! So it’s possible that I may, or even one of you might meet a potential husband from writing him into your own reality. 😍😘👨❤️💋👨👪❤💯
So check out my dear future husband letter, and I hope you guys consider writing a letter, even if you use mines as an inspiration for your own.
Dear Future Husband,
I know you’re probably never read this on here, but you just may be reading this right now. But I’m writing this letter for you to know, how I feel. I hope you get this before the next fuck boy comes into my life and blocks you. But I know, no matter what. You’ll find your way to me.
I promise I’d never compare you to my past mistakes, nor would I hold you to your own. Nobodies perfect, and we’ve all fucked up a few times, and may even have broken a few hearts. But one thing I can promise is I’ll protect yours and shield it from all the painful experiences you’ve faced, and any doubt you may have at times about our love.
I don’t want you to feel like you can’t love again because I too fear the unknown, and the fear of losing love again may still haunt the both of us. But when I’m with you, I want you to know that every moment will be cherished. I want to hear your heartbeat. I want to stare into your eyes, and see the pain that I can heal, and also be healed from when you look into mines as well. Many times you’ve heard those simple I-love-you’s and had many heartbreaks. But when I say my forever, it’s very well a forever. I promise to stand by you through any storm, pain, or struggle. It’s us against the world, and when everything comes crashing down around us, I’ll be the one to lay my life on the line for us, as I know you will for me.
Our love will change a nation, but also create a foundation in which nobody can destroy or break if they wanted to. These scars you wear, I want to kiss them. I want you to be more than the ideal man for me, I want you to be my best friend. I want to tell you my deepest secrets, without fearing that you’d judge me for my past. I want you to open up to me in ways you’ve never imagined, opening up to any man. I want you to be able to complete my sentences, and I’m able to look at you and tell what it is that you’re feeling. I want to be able to know when you’re scared, so I can be the hero, that you’ve always longed for.
I want us to grow old together, watch our children grow into the respectful adults that I know, we would provide the best for as a team. Not just a duo, but a team that is solid, even during differences and disagreements. I want us to communicate through any problems that may arise in our relationship because neither one of us is perfect. I don’t want to go to bed without sorting out any differences, and arguments between, the two of us.
I want people to be able to see our aura, as we travel the world, and continue to grow deeper in love. Sex won’t be the focus for our love like the childish little men we’ve both wasted time entertaining in our past. When we make love, it will be with a purpose and will provide more than a lustful ending. Our love will be pure, and sincere. I want to be able to reach out my hand at night and feel yours reaching back. I want us to wake up, and the first thing we do is connect eyes. Our morning breath may not be the best, but the fact we’re given another day together would make it all worth it. I want every moment with you to be like it’s our last, so we will always cherish each other that much deeper.
That day we come to meet, face to face I want it to be based on our chemistry, and not how quick you want to fuck me, vice versa.
I want to be able to be vulnerable with you, and not fear you walking away when I get too attached. When you’re sick, I’ll be the one to heal you back to health. When you’re mad, I’ll be the one to make you laugh, and get rid of that frown. When you’re sad, I will be the one to put a smile on your face again. There will be no limits to our love, and distance won’t keep us apart.
You may meet me today, tomorrow, or even next week. But I want you to know that the moment we intertwine, it will be the moment our soul’s tie. We won’t always see eye to eye, but the makeup sex will be phenomenal. Despite your stubbornness and my silent treatments, we’ll be able to laugh about the small shit, instead of holding onto the dumb shit. I want us to bond closer, over our disagreements.
We can check guys out together, and scan the room for sexy men, but keep our hands on each other and on nobody else, even if one of us felt a natural lust for other people. No matter what life may throw at us, we both will be ready for the punches. We’ll build our empire together, and always have each other’s backs until our final days. Even after the end, I want you to remain with me for eternity, and beyond. You have no other choice! You mines, niggggggaaaaa! [LOL]
I love you, and I don’t even know you yet. But I know, when I have you, I won’t ever need for another again.
your future husband.
Things Straight Guys Don’t Understand About Gays
There are so many things that straight guys don’t understand, or care to know about us. I think if they took the time to understand, then they could be educated on certain things. A lot of times, I find myself speaking with a straight man and realizing they have no IDEA about nothing that goes on in the gay community. On the flip side, most of us don’t enter their worlds either. So on both sides, we kind of lack the understanding of each other. But I think more so on their end due to the fact that many of them want no part with homosexuality. We are more open-minded to befriending our heterosexual counterparts.
There are some things that I feel that straight men don’t understand, and often time ignorantly speak on without getting fact checks and answers from the source itself which is the community.
I’m sure some of you guys can relate to these things and probably could send over a few as well.
I want to start a dialogue, and I want you guys to be active and dive in giving your own opinion on this topic.
No, All Gay Men Do Not Want You, Sir!
A lot of straight men have this belief that being gay equally means we lust after EVERY man. This is far from the truth and is a pretty ignorant way of thinking. We have standards, if most women aren’t fucking with you then more than likely you wouldn’t stand a chance with a majority of us. We are way harsher when it comes to appearances and our types. I think women are more lenient than us gay men.
Yes, Some Of Your Friends Are In Fact Gay On The Low.
A lot of straight men have this mindset that none of their friends are gay or get down like that. But let’s be real, I don’t care how STRAIGHT you may think you’re friends are, and while you talk bad about us to them. They’re fucking us on the low, and more than likely wanna fuck you too. So don’t assume that you’re CREW is down for the pussy and not the bussy. Because a majority of them like to get, their bussies busted DOWN!
Playing Gay And Doing Gay Shit Don’t Phase Us
No, it doesn’t insult us when we see straight boys doing gay shit. Yeah, some of us may low key be wishing it be with us, but we don’t be phased by that shit. All of you can do all of that locker room gay playing, but I’m sure we’ll end up with one of your buttbuddies on the low.
Who’s The Girl In The Relationship? NEITHER ONE OF US!
Straight men lack the concept of a relationship between two men. They assume that one of us have to play the female role, when in fact it’s not always that way. Some of us don’t even believe in the whole heteronormative practices. Neither one of us is the GIRL in the relationship, sir. We’re no different from you in relationships, just wit the same sex.
Gay Men Only Take It Up The Ass / Wants To Be Women
I hate when straight men think that because we’re gay that we take it up the ass. NO, not all of us “want to be women.” Some of us are in fact happy in our manhood. That’s always the first thought that gay men are weak, and they want to take on the female role, and this is not the case at all. Being day does not mean TAKING DACK. Chile, why do these men not understand that we use our dacks just like them.
Gay Men Don’t Like Sports, Don’t Listen To Rap Music, Can’t Hang With The Boys.
Some straight men assume that since we’re gay that we all don’t like sports, only listen to “girly” music and can’t hang with the big dogs. We can, in fact, love sports, fuck with rap music, and be able to hang with the big boys. Being gay does not define a person nor does it determines their life in any way shape or form. Sexual Orientation does not represent a man, that’s just our sexual attraction and desires. But our everyday live consist of many things that you straight men do as well. Being gay does not mean you can’t do manly things or be manly.
There Are Two Types Of Gay Men | Find Out Which One Are You?
I firmly believe that there are two types of gay men in this world. I’m going to explain to you what those types are, and why in a second. I think most of you already know these types and realized you fit one or the other. But we all fall under one of the two categories.
Now we all ain’t freaks, and we all don’t expect certain things immediately. Some guys like to take things slow, get to know a person first, and then maybe reveal their freaky side. While, other gay men are straight at hello by wanting to know how big it is, how deep you can take this dack, and how good them lips feel when putting in some work.
So I’m going to explain to you the two types of gay men that are roaming among us. You decide which one you are as well.
Gays #1 who rather say “hello” first, instead of requesting or sending nudes. They are interested in finding chemistry before making a sexual connection. These men are more so sapiosexual than sexual.
Gays #2 who rather you send nudes first, and save all that other shit for later. They are quick to sending you their nudes and mixing sex into the conversation quite sooner then you’d expect.
Now I understand, Gays #2 like to know what you’re working with before wasting any our time on getting to know you. Talking about your hobbies, dreams, and goals means nothing to them at first. Their minds are set on way more
IMPORTANT sexual things.
Gays #1 Would like to sit and maybe have an intimate conversation over the phone, maybe a dinner date. We prefer intimate connections before going in the sexual route.
While Gays #2 Just rather get to the point and cut all the bullshit. If we fucking, then let’s do it and not spend so much time on pointless conversations.
But I get it, and sex is the critical factor in life for this type of gay man. He doesn’t care about your favorite colors or food of choice. He wants to know whether or not if you can please and satisfy his sexual needs.
Now for most of you guys who are Gays #1 you want to explore the minds of other men, and then maybe entertain sex. But your immediate thoughts aren’t based on sexual needs of your own. You want to know who he is, what he’s about and how the two of you can mesh together. It’s not even about sexual connections at first. You are not looking at his pictures lusting and having the temptation of exploring his body. You don’t function that way, and you probably hate the thought of sex before you even know anything about the person.
Now for Gays #2 immediately you are aroused if this person attracts you. You want to see their bodies and imagine all the sexual shit you both could do together. The moment he rejects your request for sending you naked photos, you are quick to move on and hit up the next guy. You might have had a potential connection with him, but you lost all interest in that very moment of his rejection of nudes. You like to explore your sexual options before investing any time getting to know the person.
Sex first, feelings and mental connections later. You are not focused on his goals in life or his likes. Although you may actually be interested in him, your primary concern is based on whether or not his sex is good enough for your over-the-top sexual appetite. A sexual connection drives you, and that’s okay. Some guys are more sexual than others, but that doesn’t mean you don’t have a heart. You still have a beautiful spirit, and often you’re misjudged for your sexual nature. Once guys get over the over-sexualized side of you, then they can see the BIG potential. But you do frighten people before they can even think about investing time into you.
I think both types of gay men have special qualities. Some advantages and disadvantages as well. Whether if you want to explore the body first, or if you’re solely relying on mental stimulation. We all have something to offer at some point. Gays #1 don’t judge Gays #2 for being sexual and wanting to see you in the nude. But also Gays #2 don’t lose interest so quick for Gays #1 for needing a mental connection, before exploring your bodies and having a sexual connection.
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