There are some dating boundaries that we shouldn’t cross. Often we do unknowingly (I would say) But sometimes those boundaries are designed for a reason. We’re all grown, and I would hope everybody who’s reading my blog is grown enough to know right from wrong. Certain things are acceptable, while there are some that are not. I think outside of cheating, petty drama, bullshit, crossing boundaries is another reason for breakups.
When I see people crossing them, I automatically know that relationship isn’t going to work. Nobody’s relationship works if we can’t respect other people’s space and privacy. There are levels to this shit, and being a boyfriend does not give you the right to act as if you’re somebody’s daddy (or mommy in some instances.) But regardless, respect is given, and you can’t get it if you don’t earn it first.
But you’re not going to force anybody to respect you. You’re not going to make him do anything he doesn’t want to do. It’s not going to work, and it’s going to crash and burn. You have to respect your partner’s privacy and their space. Their belongings, space and their property is theirs, not yours. Which you should know already, which is why you should learn how to respect the boundaries in your relationship.
I decided to write a list of 6 dating and relationship boundaries, which you shouldn’t cross. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been seeing them for years or less. You don’t have certain rights over people. You don’t own them, and they are not something in your possession.
A lot of gay men feel like their partners are their prized possessions, but they aren’t objects or materials. The same way you get them can be the same way, you lose them. It’s that simple, people say can bye, just as fast as they say hello! Don’t believe me? Cross your man’s boundaries one too many times, and watch him switch the script on that ass. Until then, read this list of 6 things that you shouldn’t do to get a head start 😉 (LOL)
Checking His Phone/Lurking His Social Media Accounts
The first thing a gay man is going to go after is his man’s phone. This is common, and this is damn near obvious for many reasons. But none of that makes it acceptable at all. You can’t feel as though you have that right to invade somebody’s privacy. Now if you’re paying that man’s phone bill, then you better not only get his phone but have the password to it as well.
But then again, is it worth it? Because at the end of the day you gave them the phone, so if they were doing shit — you’re enabling them. If you can’t trust him, then why allow him to keep the phone? Why keep picking fights to have an excuse to go through his phone?
Do you want to know the quickest way to end up without a man? Keep tampering with his phone and searching for shit. Nobody’s going to tolerate that shit unless they don’t care if you find something or not. But most men will grow tired of yo ass, and I’m pretty sure some of them have, which is why shit ended. Let’s be honest, and you did this shit before, so keep it trill. Don’t go through his belongings — his privacy belongs to him. If he’s unfaithful, not being loyal to you, then leave him. But if you gotta question that shit, you don’t need to be with him anyway… Because either he’s not or hasn’t been faithful, or you got to work on some problems of your own with trust issues.
As far as social media, if you have to lurk on your man’s Facebook, Instagram, etc. Then you need to let that go. If you gotta fear people on the cyber web taking your man, then that’s not your man! That’s everybody’s man. A man that’s secured in his relationship has no worries or fears. If you worrying, fearing, scared, then that’s not yours, that means he never belonged to you, to begin with.
Showing Up To His Job Unexpected
There’s nothing messier then showing up at his place of employment. You know damn well you’re going to get that boy fired. If he ain’t making no money, then how the hell you expect him to eat? The dack gotta be good, in order for you to fuck up his money, and he allows it. The dack gotta be damn good, to deal with crazy, which is yo ass. Please know that doing this is not cute, it’s not hood pretty at all. This is considered a disturbance and you fuck around, and them lovely Caucasians will call the police on yo ass. This ain’t the movies, and some fake ass reality show — this is real life. I know some guys who’ve done this ratchet ass shit. Don’t show up to his job over some bullshit. Keep yourself and your feelings intact. Crossing this boundary, going to end up sending yo ass to the county jail. BE SMART!
Calling His Friends and Mama After Petty Arguments
When shit goes left in your relationship, do not run to his friends and his mama. That is some CHILDISH SHIT. I’m sorry, but as a grown ass man, that’s not the business. Keep your relationship and relations with you and your partner in the comforts of your own home. Your man’s mama, his friends, even his unnteee don’t need to be in the mix.
Getting outside forces in your mess is crossing the line, that’s worse than a damn boundary. You done took your ass further down and towards the line and crossed it. That’s not cool, don’t do that. Mama is not going to side with yo ass anyway, she probably going to tell him to “tell that boy to stop playing on her phone.”
Unwanted Visits / Give Him Some Space To Himself
Sometimes people want and need their personal space. Clinginess can drive many people crazy, especially men. People need their personal space, from time to time. Always on his back is a turn-off. If a person wants to be left alone, leave him-da-hell-alone. Do not invite yourself to his apartment unexpectedly. Now if you live together, let him have his alone time in the living room, you go in the damn bedroom. If his ass is in the kitchen, you keep your ass on the other side of the house. Give him space, give him some time to breathe in, and breathe out. Smoothing him, when he already needs some space — will not work out. You’re going to lose your relationship.
Texting Or Speaking To Their Ex(s)
Do not contact a guys ex without his permission. Even if they are cool with their ex, do not cross that line. Their ex will never be in your favor. They will never hide what you share with them. I don’t care if their ex is your good good new bestie. They share a bond that nothing will replace, not even you. Sometimes I’ve seen some guys do this and I cringe every time. The dumbest decision you could make is contacting his ex-lover about relationship issues. That is the stupidest thing to do. Especially behind his back. I can promise you. Every time you do that, he will find out! That’s never okay, and it’s never cool. Just know, that his ex will scheme on getting him back.
Setting Up Threesomes Without His Permission
Sometimes we like to get freaky. I know this is a random part of the list, but I have to change it up. But yes, threesomes are cool if both parties want one. But setting up a threesome, without your man’s acknowledgment will not end well. I’ve seen this happen — don’t do it. Yeah, couples like to step out of the box sometimes. Hell — I like to do shit out of my comfort zone too. But there’s a boundary to the shit, and sometimes you can go too far left. While you may think, it’s a cute early birthday gift. He may view it as being a complete disrespectful decision on your part.